Kim's Tips to Fitting in at a New Church...

The hardest thing about relocating to Alabama (for me) has been leaving our old church family and starting the process of finding a new one. I had forgotten how hard it is to be the "new family on the block." Church can be the most wonderful place on earth, but it can also be the loneliest. We went through this same process when we moved to Louisiana, and it was very difficult. God blessed us greatly through those wonderful brothers and sisters, and the loneliness quickly passed. Looking back on that experience has helped me to remember that this transition will also pass. I thought that I would write down a few "tips" that I am learning while I am in the middle of it all, so that I can have them to look back on if I ever walk this road again.


1. Expect to mourn leaving your old church family. I underestimated how emotional I would be about this. I had a hard time holding back the tears on our first Sunday here. I struggled even more today, despite the fact it was our fourth or fifth visit. For some reason, I started crying during church and could not stop. It was not the calm, shed a tear or two type of crying. It was the red-faced, I need a tissue, I am going to leave and go for a drive kind of crying. I kept hearing the Cheer's theme song playing in my head, and I could not hold back the flood. I tend to be a "cry in private" kind of person, so this was a bit unsettling to me. It was not that the people were not friendly, it was just that I missed walking in and knowing most of the people. I missed already knowing their names without having to think about it. I missed so many things and so many people. I had to remind myself that this will pass!
***Note: One benefit of breaking down during church is that people do notice you and talk nicely to you(maybe I should have made this one of the tips!).

2. Expect the children to go through the mourning process as well! Even Olivia, who is only three, is dealing with these emotions. She has said several times, "I want to go to the church that has Emma in it!" Isaac and Bailey miss their friends also. It is hard to my mamma's heart to watch!

3. Linger I have seen visitors who escape the moment that the final prayer has been prayed, and give no one a chance to talk to them. I understand this temptation (meeting new people can be exhausting!), but is definitely not the way to make friends!

4. Go to church on Wednesday nights. We found that we were able to meet and fellowship with others much easier at Wednesday evening church than on Sunday morning. The crowd is smaller, and visitors stand out more.

5. Have children (this is obviously not a tip for everyone!). Mark found that many more people talked to him when he the children and me with him than when he visited alone. I think that it is hard to miss the six of us! We have gotten to know a few of the children's teachers and the children's minister.

6. Attend a small group. Tonight was our first time to visit a small group. The thought of visiting a small group with four children was exhausting, but it was well worth the effort. We were able to connect with several other families, and that was a blessing!

7. Have realistic expectations. I have to keep reminding myself that this will take time. I will not have close friends here in a week or two. Other people are chasing their children around the church too, so not everyone will have time to talk to me.

8. Pray God is faithful!

To Be Continued...